Bedroom Banter Gone Wild

Hubby: The one where you shut the fuck up and go to sleep.

Wife’s eyes widened, and she leaned in, crossing her arms. “Excuse me, what did you just say?”

Hubby, grinning like a mischievous schoolboy, looked up from his phone. “Oh, you know, the magic trick you do every night.”

Her eyebrows arched skeptically. “Magic trick? I’m all ears, go on.”

“Yeah,” he said with an exaggerated motion, as if explaining the secret of the universe. “You start by talking about everything under the sun—your day, your plans, the laundry, what to have for dinner tomorrow. You build up this grand performance.”

He paused for dramatic effect. “And then, poof, just like that… you fall asleep mid-sentence!”

Wife stared, not sure whether to laugh or smother him with the nearest pillow. “So, you’re telling me my ‘trick’ is falling asleep?”

“Yep,” Hubby nodded, still grinning. “It’s amazing. I never know when it’s coming. One minute, you’re asking about my day, the next, it’s silence. Like magic. And I’m like, ‘Where did she go?’ It’s like I’m in the presence of an elusive sleep wizard.”

Wife put a hand on her hip, rolling her eyes. “Well, if I’m a wizard, then you’re the one who cast the spell. Every time you snore, I’m instantly transported to dreamland.”

He snickered. “Touché. But, let’s be real, I know who’s got the real magic around here.”

Wife raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what’s that?”

“The way you can disappear when I need help with the dishes, laundry, or anything.”

She smirked. “That, my dear, is called ‘selective hearing.’ Now, poof, I’m going to sleep.”

Hubby laughed and nudged her. “Okay, okay, I’ll give you the title of the sleep sorceress. But only if you promise not to perform your ‘trick’ when I’m asking you to take out the trash.”

She pretended to think, then shrugged. “Sorry, no promises. It’s part of the spell!”

He sighed dramatically. “Wife, the only thing I can count on more than your trick with your mouth is your ability to dodge chores. Now go on, do your magic. Goodnight, sorceress.”

Wife turned over with a playful grin. “Goodnight, Magician of the Snore.”

And just like that, the silence settled in, and Hubby heard the soft sound of her breathing—proof that the trick had worked once again.

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